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One Side: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought filming a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?